The Truth Is, I'm Grieved But Resolute!
And not for reasons you think!
This will be short, sweet, and simple…
Over the last week or so, I’ve uncovered multiple people declaring that if XYZ individual represents Christianity, they want no parts of it. Specifically, they were speaking of Charlie Kirk, but no single individual is the point here. I’ve come to realize I might be guilty as sin itself when it comes to claiming to represent the faith. The thought that I could have misrepresented my testimony of faith and turned someone off of Jesus is TERRIFYING. The truth is, I’ve said some outrageous things online that are in no way, shape, or form in line with the Christ I claim to represent. Make no mistake, of all my associations on or offline, Christ is the primary one I want to ensure I am representing well. Admittedly, I struggle with demons just like we all do. Mine includes:
“The you gonna let him/her talk to you like that?!” demon.
I don’t mean the assertiveness that we should all have. You see, I’ve got a mouth. I'm at times a woman of unclean lips. I’ve clapped back at people on and offline. So no, I’m not simply a keyboard warrior. I don’t pick on people my own size or smaller, either. My specific triggers are those supposedly bigger and in some ways more powerful than I am. I relish putting those who think they can control me in their place. There’s nothing wrong or sinful about sticking up for myself. I just have to do it appropriately. I need to stop letting my mouth get the best of me.
And before anyone, Christian nationalist, radical feminist, liberal, conservative, democrat, republican, thinks I’m dropping my advocacy for women or radical feminism in general, prepare to be disappointed. To be clear, NONE of the labels mentioned is a priority over my life as a believer. With that said, there will be an overt shift in my “presentation,” so to speak. The organized church has not been the safest place for women, emotionally or physically. The church cannot make or keep disciples if women are not affirmed and treated as equal members of the body. So I intend to stir up good trouble in the organized church and participate in the great commission as I am able. This is intimidating, but more of us need to do it…
Not to be morbid, but I really don’t know how much life I have left. I’ve decided to make it count for the kingdom. I don’t want people to have nothing to say about me as a believer, after I die, if I’m so focused on everything else!
Stay tuned…